Why I’m “Quiet”

Confession: Sometimes I feel too lazy to talk. It’s a waste of tongue-muscle. I think of things that could contribute to the conversation, but I don’t always say them. If I don’t talk in a conversation, it’s not because I’m angry, shy, or trying to be flirty. Sometimes I just prefer to not talk. I just like to spend time with a person.

I have one friend whom I’ve spent a bit of time with this summer, and when we get together sometimes we just like to sit in silence, listening to the birds singing. When we do talk it’s normally about something substantial, like relationships (of any kind), growing up, or life in general. That’s another thing about me. I’ll make small talk, but I don’t really like it.

When I’m in a group of people I try to let other people talk. In fact, if the group is big enough so that more than one conversation is happening at one time, I feel overwhelmed, so that’s when I can get really quiet. I feel like my brain is being overloaded with information and it’s hard to keep up. So sometimes it may look like I’m bored or I might not have anything to contribute, when really I feel like I’m shutting down from trying so hard to take everything in.

If I don’t talk to you it’s not because I don’t want to spend time with you. It’s more likely that I want to give you space because I would hate to bother you. If you want to talk to me then I’ll listen. I may not have much to say, so you’ll have to forgive me. But I can still be there for you.

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