Once upon a time I would make up stories based on stories I didn’t know. If I was in the mall and I saw a pretty girl, I pretended that we were friends, even if we didn’t so much as make eye contact. If I heard a song and could only remember one line of it, I would make up the rest. If I saw part of a movie trailer but not the movie, I would build a scene around what I had seen in the trailer.
One such trailer I had seen as a child was “Fairytale: A True Story,” and I think it is based off of that trailer that I dreamed up a place that only existed where colored pencils touched paper. My drawings of that land of hope and peace and dreams are still etched clearly in my mind, to the extent I could probably recreate the meadow on paper now if I tried.
I don’t think I ever saw the fairy movie, but there were certain images in that trailer that contributed to how I drew that secret place. I don’t think my drawings were just images I had seen in the trailer though. I had taken the idea and made it my own. But part of me still thinks that maybe it was a dream I had, although whether it be a night dream or a day dream I am uncertain. Maybe it was both.
I told my friend about the wonderful meadow, and the two of us plotted to search for it and find it. The more time passed the more I began to realize that maybe the place didn’t exist, but my friend still seemed convinced that we could find it someday. I didn’t see how that was possible. The only meadows and woods I could find were the ones passing by the car windows, and they were almost always near a highway or houses. The world was very small to me at that time, and so it was hard for me to imagine what the world looked like outside of the few places I had been. Maybe that meadow was what heaven looked like.
More time passed. My friend and I moved away from each other, and we have since grown apart. I wonder if she remembers the special meadow. She may think it a trivial thing now. Maybe I do too. But the child inside me still believes that it could exist somewhere, even if it’s in a different world.